My Worst Nightmare

I shouldn't be opening this blog anymore nor rant about things which aren't supposed to be remembered but as of now I find myself resting on the chair, facing my laptop and blabbing about things that are already buried six feet below the ground. Funny is to realize that after all, I still find myself stupid feeling this way- HURT. :D One of the things that I hardly can't face is the fact that the guy who used to be my everything flipping back the pages of my life three or four years ago is already engaged with someone. :D I hope I just had not gone online today nor tried to browse his account. But perhaps this is God's way of saying that I should know everything by this time; that he can never be mine again. NEVER AGAIN. Yah, I admit that it had pinch my heart after seeing his fiancee's picture with him around. I supposed that was the pamanhikan thinggy already. As I can sense in their picture, the girl was already preggy. I'm happy for them, or am I not? :D I should be happy for them. Besides, a child is a gift, a gift from our Almighty Father which should be nurtured by both of them. I have moved on and I have learned to let go of many thoughts of him, it is just the memories that occupies a portion in my amygdala that haunts me still and allows my eyes to shed a tear for him. I will and I must learn to overcome this feeling of detriment soon, sooner than we all expect. :) :( But some way or another, I hate it, I damn hope he hadn't wasted his peso textin me this morning saying "Hi gud morning. Musta?" (the effin fuckin shit man!) If I hadn't just go online by the time that his mom accepted my friend request which I had sent a year ago (as far as I can remember), I would not be able to find out that his relationship status engaged was for real, though I had already seen that stats of his a while ago when I browsed his prof (but I didn't had enough feeling of melancholy as what I am feeling right now, not this kind of feeling). You wouldn't want to experience what I am going through right now (trust me =/), traversing a road so blurry not noticing a cliff ahead of me, until someone pulled my hands back delivering me from further damage. And yes, I must take a step forward and carry the cross by myself and with God by my side I know I will be fine. . . SOON. :) SOON ENOUGH. :D

Headturners Contest

I'm desperate to have my own domain that's why I'm joining headturners contest.The requirements are as follows.

Requirements to Join:
# Post a Blog Entry about this Contest.
-Let me know how determine you are to win.
# Follow Head Turner at Twitter.
# Follow Miss Angel at Plurk.
# Comment on this entry with “i support Head Turner’s first official Contest”.

To Gain Points:
# Blog about this Contest [5points per entry].
# Comment on the entries on this blog (date before April 12 does not count) [4points].
# Grab this Badge and post it in your sidebar [4points].
# Grab this Stamp and post it in your sidebar [3points].
# Grab this FanSig and post it in your sidebar [2points].
# Refer friends by having them leave a comment and stating they were referred here by you. Ask them to add either your email or blog url [2points].

Instruction:
Once requirements are completed please do send me an email of your URL and if you have completed extra points send me the url as well. i check my email everyday. This is how i can keep track of your points. I will personally visit your site to verify the entries and extra points made.

First Prize:
# 1 year paid Domain Name [.com, .net, .org]
# 1 year paid Hosting Package

60 GB Webspace
Unlimited Bandwidth
60 Add-On Domain
100-FTP | 100-Mail | 100-Subdomain [updated]
Cpanel
Fantastico
much MORE Add-ons!
# 1 Month Advertisement here at Head Turner

Second Prize:
# 1 year paid Domain Name [.info]
# 8 months paid Hosting Package

60 GB Webspace
Unlimited Bandwidth
60 Add-On Domain
100-FTP | 100-Mail | 100-Subdomain [updated]
Cpanel
Fantastico
much MORE Add-ons!
# 1 Month Advertisement here at Head Turner

Third Prize:
# 1 year paid Domain Name [.info]
# Hosting under Head Turner

1 GB Webspace
FTP | Mail | 2-Subdomain
Fantastico
No Cpanel
# 1 Month Advertisement here at Head Turner

Tallying Points:

Every 1-1/2 week i will personally post an update on the points collected of each contest participant. I will provide all necessary details and information needed to show the Highest Scorer.

Contest Time-Frame:
Officially Opened: April 12, 2009
End of Contest: May 12, 2009
Announcement of Winner: May 15-18, 2009

Goodluck to Everyone!

Praise Him

You might wonder what the title means, well some of you might have the idea whom I am referring to. Its HIM, God Almighty. I would just like to express with this blog entry the gratitude I've felt for the many blessings He has showered me. First and foremost, the ranking for the graduating class was announced last Monday and guess what? I got the 3rd place... I can't believe that I've made it to the top 3 due to the fact that my rank on the first grading was more or less off the beaten track. I mean, I ranked number.. *toot* nevermind the number.. haha. Well I confessed I really did not pay much attention to my studies during the first grading for so many reason, one of which is I think too much inspiration? Some might say that it should bring the positive side and enliven you but for me it plays the opposite way around.. But wait, here's the big catch why I was so shocked of my final ranking. I wasn't able to attend the flag ceremony last Monday morning to where the candidates for honors was announced yet I saw Mady, one of my Bf'z [Blue fellynx],our group name] and told me I was only the 2nd honorable mention. I faked a smile but deep inside I know I'm not satisfied with what I've heard. Then we headed to our room and on the way I saw my classmates greeting me a smile while saying congratz. Then I felicitated our Valedictorian and likewise she did the same. I told her "See? I got only the 4th place." She disagree and told me, "No yer not!" You're our 1st honorable mention." I didn't believed at her at first and thought that she was just trying to comfort me for the disappointment I have for myself but my Bf'z seconded and agreed with what Tin2 said earlier. Flabbergasted as I am, I freaked out and bloviate thanking Papa Jesus endlessly. After long terrifying nights, thank God my prayer was answered. Thank God, Madz was mistaken with the info of what she'd heard..hehe. Am I going OT or might as well ranting? hehe. My pardon. I was just soo happy because this time I haven't disappointed my parents with my ranking not like in my junior years..huhu. So that was it, the first blessing I had. I also got the result for the entrance examination in two universities I'm intending to continue my tertiary education and I passed them all. Thanks to Him. Yet I am still in great trouble deciding on what course am I going to take up. The third blessing that I received from Papa Jesus is that I was also the one chosen to be given the biggest award in the field of journalism in our school coming from senate [that was according to our school paper adviser] nevertheless I'll also receive the Leadership Award due to I'm the President of the Supreme Student Government [SSG]. The award for the journalism is not supposed to be given to me but to our Salutatorian which was our Associate Editor since I already got one of the biggest award which is the Leadership award, one of the teachers who had their deliberation protests against me saying that it's it would be unfair if two major awards are to be given to me thinking that I'm only the first honorable mention compared to our salut. But think of this, how would it be so unfair when I've dedicated and hammered away all my efforts not to think that I've exploited all my talents in the said field and grab the chance to be labelled as the schools paper's Editor-in-chief? Bragging eh?!? harhar. I'm just giving justice to something I think worth for me. Thank God Mrs. Montaño [our school paper adviser] defended me and fought that I am deserving to be given the award. All these things are possible because of HIM that's why I'm returning all the glory and praises to HIM. To God be the Glory!!!!!



I'm almost at the peak of the world [not quite] except for one thing missing.. gooddnight everyone.