My Worst Nightmare

I shouldn't be opening this blog anymore nor rant about things which aren't supposed to be remembered but as of now I find myself resting on the chair, facing my laptop and blabbing about things that are already buried six feet below the ground. Funny is to realize that after all, I still find myself stupid feeling this way- HURT. :D One of the things that I hardly can't face is the fact that the guy who used to be my everything flipping back the pages of my life three or four years ago is already engaged with someone. :D I hope I just had not gone online today nor tried to browse his account. But perhaps this is God's way of saying that I should know everything by this time; that he can never be mine again. NEVER AGAIN. Yah, I admit that it had pinch my heart after seeing his fiancee's picture with him around. I supposed that was the pamanhikan thinggy already. As I can sense in their picture, the girl was already preggy. I'm happy for them, or am I not? :D I should be happy for them. Besides, a child is a gift, a gift from our Almighty Father which should be nurtured by both of them. I have moved on and I have learned to let go of many thoughts of him, it is just the memories that occupies a portion in my amygdala that haunts me still and allows my eyes to shed a tear for him. I will and I must learn to overcome this feeling of detriment soon, sooner than we all expect. :) :( But some way or another, I hate it, I damn hope he hadn't wasted his peso textin me this morning saying "Hi gud morning. Musta?" (the effin fuckin shit man!) If I hadn't just go online by the time that his mom accepted my friend request which I had sent a year ago (as far as I can remember), I would not be able to find out that his relationship status engaged was for real, though I had already seen that stats of his a while ago when I browsed his prof (but I didn't had enough feeling of melancholy as what I am feeling right now, not this kind of feeling). You wouldn't want to experience what I am going through right now (trust me =/), traversing a road so blurry not noticing a cliff ahead of me, until someone pulled my hands back delivering me from further damage. And yes, I must take a step forward and carry the cross by myself and with God by my side I know I will be fine. . . SOON. :) SOON ENOUGH. :D